Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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