Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How external is "for external use only"?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
