I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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