Why does Corona taste like a burp?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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