Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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