Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
