She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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