Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
