do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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