he thought i was a dude.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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