i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
