I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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