Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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