Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
