when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
