did you get engaged???
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
