Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
