Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
