so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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