Will you blow on my dice?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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