omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
