Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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