I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Soap is not a condiment
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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