I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
