This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
