so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
