Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
