This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
