people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She said her name was "party"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
