Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
