Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize