sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
