Im at strip club and am horny
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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