Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That's when you crack a 10am beer
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
