in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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