I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
