i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's the barista slut.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
