New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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