we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
