she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
