Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
