i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
