um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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