Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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