the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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