He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
