do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i love accidental penises.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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