morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
