I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
