So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
