fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
