I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
