you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
