As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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