my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
