Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
