Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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