i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize