Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
