It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
